


Shopping for Sweaters

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-18
Updated: 2006-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-31 10:51:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15117815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: All day Leo had been on her mind; she couldn't help but think of the ambulance taking him to the hospital for the last time.





	Shopping for Sweaters

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

CJ heard the door squeak early on a snowy, late November morning. She figured Buttons was making his early morning getaway so she cuddled closer to Greg and didn’t open her eyes. That’s when she heard the voice.

“Grandpa? Grandpa?”

Leah, who was 2 ½, yanked on Greg’s arm until he woke up. He looked at her and then at CJ, who was still asleep.

“What's up pumpkin? Its kinda early isn’t it?”

Leah shrugged; she didn’t know how to tell time.

“What's the matter?” he asked again.

“Grandpa lets eat cereal.”

“You want cereal?” he sat up in bed, careful not to wake CJ. Swinging his feet over the side, he scooped Leah into his arms. That’s when he saw it was quarter to eight.

“I guess we can do that. But we have to be very quiet so we don’t wake grandma. Shh.”

“Shh.” Leah put her finger on her lips and mimicked him.

Greg smiled, getting up and walking out of the room. CJ sat up and watched them. After a few minutes, she put on her robe and followed. Hanging back in the living room, she listened to their conversation.

“OK Leah, Capn Crunch, which is sweetened oat and corn, or Honey Nut Cheerios. It is good for your heart and cholesterol.”

She heard Leah giggle…no doubt Greg was poking her little stomach.

“Cheerios!” Leah exclaimed.

“Good choice, I will join you. No, no sweetie let me pour the milk. You'll make a mess of grandma proportions.”

“Hey, I resent that.”

CJ walked into the kitchen, wearing a smile.

“Grandma!”

“Hi Leah.”

She kissed her granddaughter and then Greg.

“She just wanted some cereal with Grandpa. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“I heard you two talking.” She filled the teakettle with water before putting it on the stove.

“So we woke you anyway?”

“I missed the body heat.”

“Good answer.”

CJ lit a cigarette but Greg said nothing. He had talked to her about her smoking but she said he couldn’t hassle her because the doctor gave her an excellent bill of health, and she smoked so few these days. It was not the same as his red meat issue. Greg cried sexism for that, for no real reason at all, but it made CJ laugh.

“I figured after cereal Leah will be ready to go back to sleep. Isn’t that right?”

Leah shrugged, eating her cereal slow.

“She’ll probably sleep. I see she has you wrapped around her finger.”

CJ poured a glass of apple tea, joining them at the table.

“Yeah. All the grandkids do. I'm fascinating to them…its nice to feel important.”

CJ smiled a bit, blowing on her tea. Greg thought something might be wrong but he let it go. It was so early in the morning and everyone needed some more sleep. He reached over and rubbed her hand.

“Maybe you should get some more sleep cookie. We didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I know. I'm just going to drink this tea and then I’ll lie down.”

“OK.” He kissed her hand and went back to his cereal.

***

“What are you doing?”

Greg came into the den in the afternoon as CJ unpacked boxes of books. They had been in the new place for a few weeks; most of CJ’s 67th birthday was spent unpacking. She didn’t mind…Greg made her a lovely dinner and birthday cake.

“Do you need some help?”

“I'm OK thanks. Was that Brendan at the door?”

“Picking up the little bundle of energy. I asked him to stop by next week to put the wedding painting up in here. It’s not going to be a problem.”

CJ wished he had asked her about that. She was not sure what she wanted to do with the painting. While the idea of it collecting dust in the closet was unsettling to her, looking at it everyday almost seemed more so. She paused when she heard ambulances roaring by. All day Leo had been on her mind; she couldn’t help but think of the ambulance taking him to the hospital for the last time. How he gripped her hand at the end…then loosened in his death.

“With my help and a little music I think we can have this room done in no time.”

Greg’s voice brought her out of her memories. She tried to put on a smile.

“I think I want to do this one on my own. I’ll holler if I need you OK?”

“Yeah. I’ll just be in the living room writing.”

CJ nodded and went back to her work.

***

Nora came into the den with a glass of juice and a sandwich at 3:30. She put it on the coffee table before sitting in the chair.

“Come and eat before you collapse.” She said.

“What? Hey there. What time is it?”

“A little after 3:30. Greg told me you have been in here all day.”

“I just wanted to get these books put away. I want it to be a home, not a place where we live with boxes.”

Nora nodded.

“Come, sit down and eat CJ.”

She did, looking at Nora.

“Did he call you? Is he worried about me?”

“I called, and he told me. Should he be worried about you?”

“No.” CJ replied quickly.

“How come I don’t quite believe you?”

“I don’t know. I'm fine.”

“Alright. Then why would Greg be worried?”

“I really don’t know.”

They were quiet and CJ ate. Nora fingered through the Vanity Fair on the table. The usual Hollywood gossip but she hardly noticed the words.

“I really miss Leo today.” She finally said.

“What made you think about him?”

“I don’t need an excuse; he is always with me.”

“Was this move a bad idea?” Nora asked.

“Of course not. I love Greg; I love being with him Nora. I never feel alone when I'm with him. I just miss Leo today.”

“Well this didn’t come out of nowhere. What's the matter CJ?”

“Leah stayed with us last night. She came into our bedroom this morning to wake up Greg. She called him grandpa.”

“Yeah?”

“I know she is just a little girl and he is the only one she will ever know on her mother’s side but…Leo is her grandfather.”

“Leo is gone. That is not Greg or Leah’s fault. I can't pretend to know how you feel but I don’t know what else to say.”

“I don’t want to feel like this every time she says that word. What kind of jerk am I if I demand she call him something else? She is just a baby…she doesn’t understand. When my dad died, Tim and Charlie didn’t have a replacement. My grandchildren are lucky.”

“Yes, they are. I think if you feel strange, or uncomfortable, you should talk to Greg about it.”

“No.” CJ shook her head. “I do not need to burden Greg with this. I'm serious Nora.”

“It’s not a burden. He is you partner CJ; he wants to know.”

“No. How does it make him feel when I talk about Leo all the time? He is going to think I don’t love him and it will turn out just as it did with Danny. I’ll be fine.”

“When has it ever fixed itself?” Nora asked. “It festers, and it grows like a cancer, then you push everyone away. After all that, the problem is still there. He has never been anything but loving and supportive. Give him a chance.”

“I'm fine Nora; I promise. Do you want to help me unpack?”

“Not really.” She smiled. “Toby and I are going to cuddle on the couch and watch movies. Why don’t you do the same with Greg? These books will be here.”

“OK.”

Nora knew from her tone that she probably wouldn’t. She would hide in the den until dinner, continue to say nothing was wrong, and have fitful sleep tonight.

“Daisy called me.” Nora said. “She likes the idea of Sunday brunch. C’mon walk me out.”

They walked out together and CJ didn’t see Greg. The TV and stereo were off…he would have mentioned if he were leaving. Buttons slept curled up on the couch.

“Call me later if you want.” Nora kissed her cheek. “I’ll be here in a flash.”

CJ nodded, closing and locking the door. She found Greg in the bedroom, sound asleep with a book across his chest. She put the book on the nightstand, slowly pulled off his reading glasses, and lay beside him. Even in his slumber, Greg put his arms around her and held her close.

“Don’t wake up sweetheart.” She whispered.

“Too late.” He murmured. “That doesn’t mean we have to move.”

“No.” she laughed. “It doesn’t.”

“The books all done?”

“You would think, right? Not really. Most of the time I was distracted.”

“You still don’t want to talk?” he asked.

“Shh.” She put her hand on his stomach. “Later, OK?”

“I love you Claudia Jean.”

“I love you too.”

***

“I’ll have you know I did sleep last night, so there.”

CJ met Nora, Donna, and Daisy at a diner midtown at noon. She hung her coat on the rack, sliding into the booth beside Daisy.

“That’s mature.” Nora muttered.

“What's going on?” Donna and Daisy asked.

“Nothing.” CJ scanned the menu.

“CJ is having apprehensions about her grandchildren calling Greg ‘grandpa’ but won't talk to him about it.”

“Tell her how silly it is.” CJ countered. “I cannot go boo-hooing to Greg every time I feel out of sorts. Leo has been gone 5 years and I need to get over it.”

“You have moved on beautifully.” Daisy said.

“Yeah, and of course you can go to Greg.” Donna added. “He is there to listen and care.”

“He is not a dumb man. He already senses something is wrong.”

“I told him I'm fine.”

The server arrived and they ordered brunch. CJ looked forward to her first cup of coffee in a week.

“Look, all I'm saying is, I can handle it. I don’t want it to be as if I cannot handle my emotions and crumble under pressure. I don't want Greg to think I regret any decisions I've made regarding our relationship.”

“Do you?” Daisy sipped her grapefruit juice.

“No.” CJ looked at her ring. “I love him…that’s what makes these feelings so hard. Can we talk about something else?”

“I thought we might do some shopping after this.” Nora said. “I have to get the knucklehead something for his birthday.”

They all liked the idea.

“Has anyone heard from the President-elect?” Donna asked.

“I talked to Zoey last night. We all know how stressful transition is. They're doing fine.”

“Is Abbey going to come and stay with them in Washington?” Nora asked.

“That’s what they both hope. She has not answered definitively.”

“Charlie is President.” Daisy said. “What a world.”

“Leo told me, after I was held hostage, how calm and in control he was. He said he had hopes before but knew for sure at that moment that Charlie would be President one day.”

“He worked his way through college and law school while working for the President and Vice-President. It was his destiny.” Donna replied.

***

“Hey, CJ?”

“Danny?”

In the men’s department of Armani, there stood Danny Concannon. CJ walked over and took him in a brief hug. They smiled at each other.

“You look good.” He said. “Damn, you really do.”

CJ was dressed in dark blue jeans and a blue cashmere sweater. She was carrying a wool pea coat over her arm. Her hair, still reddish gold, with streaks of grey, was pulled back with a clip.

“You look good too. How are you?”

“OK. I'm really retired this time; spending a lot of time reading and writing my memoirs.”

“It took you long enough. You should have done it years ago.”

“I doubt I’ll ever finish it. My life was full and I have no idea what to leave out. I'm thinking of cutting it off when I get back from London. No one cares about the day to day of an old man.”

That meant she would not be making any romantic appearances in his book. CJ hoped her sigh was not audible.

“I saw your memoir in Barnes and Noble last week. It’s selling very well.”

“Yeah. Charlie calls me, reading passages to make fun of me.”

“Yeah. Greg did a really good job.”

“That hasn’t stopped some of the critics from deciding he just wanted to paint his girlfriend in a positive light.”

“Referring to you as a girlfriend at our age is surreal.”

“Why?” CJ asked.

“I don’t know, it’s just is. How are you?”

“Good.” CJ smiled. “It’s nice to see you. New York is big…I don’t see you enough.”

“That’s OK. It’s nice when we do.”

“Danny…”

“I better go; I have dinner plans and it requires a tux. Until next time?”

“Call me or something, OK? I'm serious.”

“Yeah. Bye CJ.”

“Bye.”

Nora walked up just as he was leaving they managed to exchange a quick hello and goodbye.

“It’s been a while since you’ve seen him.” She said to her best friend.

“Yeah. I feel so bad about the way things ended with us.”

“Don’t. It wasn’t all your fault. Danny is the one who left.”

“I wasn’t ready…Leo’s death was still a gaping wound.”

“What is it now?”

They both walked to the register with their clothes.

“There’s still stitching but its healing. That’s why I don’t know how to bring up things that I feel with Greg. I don’t want to open the dam.”

Nora understood that and she didn’t want to push CJ. She would just be there for her, no matter what decision she made. That’s what best friends are for.

***

“I got you sweaters. Do I smell food?”

“Hey there.”

Greg came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on his apron. He and CJ shared a kiss before she threw her bags in Leo’s old chair.

“What do I smell?”

“Spaghetti. Now before you get all…whatever…I haven’t had red meat in a month. So I am going to have spaghetti and a glass of wine. Toby called to invite us down for Trivial Pursuit but I told him we could do that tomorrow. I wanted just you and me tonight.” Greg walked by to the kitchen and CJ followed.

“Unless you want to; you can call him back.”

“No, tomorrow is fine. What do you want to do tonight?”

“Mmm, I'm thinking spaghetti, Rebecca on DVD, and cuddling on the couch. Maybe turning off the phone for the couple of hours.”

CJ smiled.

“You're talking my language Gregory.” She lifted the lid off the pot and inhaled. “God, that smells good. I'm going to put on something I can lounge around in. Check out these sweaters; they're nice.”

“I can dress myself you know.”

“Whatever. Just surrender and life will be easier.”

45 minutes later, CJ walked into the den. Greg had two bowls of spaghetti and two glasses of red wine on the table. A couple of storm-scented candles were lit and overstuffed pillows littered the couch.

“Wow, you went all out.” She said.

“It’s been a while so I thought I would.”

CJ stepped over Buttons, who was stretched out in front of the TV. They were supposed to get a dog but by the time Greg went to get him from the pound, he had been adopted. Down, but not out, CJ told him they could pick out a dog together when the time came.

“So, what's going on with you Mrs. McGarry?”

“What do you mean?”

CJ curled her feet under her on the couch and took her bowl. Sliding the fork into her mouth, CJ smiled.

“Oh, this is good. This is really good.”

“Thank you. I'm glad you like it.”

“Mmm hmm.”

She ate in silence for a while and then looked at him.

“What did you mean when you asked me if something was going on earlier?”

“Just checking in with you. You seem a bit off kilter.”

“I just want to get everything unpacked and be settled before the holidays.”

“I’ll help.”

“Yeah, and I don’t know if I want the wedding painting hanging in the den.”

“Oh. I guess I should not have asked Brendan without talking to you.”

“It’s OK. I mean I don’t want it collecting dust in the closet either, I just…” CJ sighed. “Does it bother you that there’s a picture of Leo on my nightstand?”

“Should it?”

“OK, we’re going to have a conversation and you are not going to answer me with questions. OK?”

“Gotcha.” Greg replied, smiling.

“Does it bother you?”

“No.”

“Leah called you Grandpa and it hurt a little bit.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t…you're Grandpa to my grandkids and I'm glad they have someone. I'm glad they have you, to be what they need. I just…”

“It should be Leo.”

CJ took a deep breath, sipping her wine. 

“It doesn’t sound fair when you say it like that Greg.”

“Fair has nothing to do with this cookie. I am well aware that you will never stop loving him. Sometimes, it gets to me; I am only human. I still want you to talk to me when you are feeling how you're feeling.”

“I moved so we could start again.” CJ said. “What right do I have to start again at 67? I wanted a place that was ours. Leo doesn’t live here. That is why I don't want the painting up…its not me and Leo’s den. This is our den. We should fill it with pictures of us.”

“OK.”

“Is that a good idea?” she asked.

“Yeah.” Greg nodded.

“Are you sure?”

“Don’t question yourself CJ. It’s fine. It is also fine to have some pictures of Leo. I don’t need him to disappear from your life for me to be part of it.”

“I seriously don’t know how you can be so understanding.”

“Because I love you. You were married to a man you were madly in love with for 30 years. It is what it is, as much as I hate that saying.”

“I love you Greg.”

She put her bowl back on the table and hugged him close. His soft breathing in her ear was a comfort.

“I love you too. We can find an alternative word, you know. The kids can call me something other than Grandpa.”

Greg’s grandchildren called her by her name, that was their alternative. She would be spending much less time with them than he spent with her grandkids. CJ shook her head.

“Grandpa is fine…you're good at it.”

“I like it. Your comfort is a top priority though.”

“I'm fine, and I am not just saying that. I always feel better when we talk.”

“I hate to say I told you so but…”

“No you don’t!” she slapped his arm. “Say it, go on, I can take it.”

“I told you so, ha ha. Just let whatever it is out and you’ll feel better. But you never listen to me. You'd think I was some stupid guy who was always wrong or something.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

She climbed on his lap and covered his mouth with hers. Greg wrapped his arms around her back.

“I think I should shut up more often.” Greg said when they pulled apart.

“Agreed.”

“You so funny.” He pinched her nose.

“You so cute.” She kissed him again. “I love you.”

“Me too cookie. Let’s watch the movie.”

CJ smiled as they cuddled on the couch, settling in for a night of peace and quiet.

***


End file.
